Breakfast With Charming Page 4

  “That is not fair. How could I say no to that?”

  “That is a yes?” asked Georgia thrilled of having won again.

  “That is an "I'll try for a week". Now, how much do we owe you?”

  “You are the best! You are going to love the group. We are good kids. Two meals are two dollars, please.” Rebecca took two dollars out of her pants and paid ignoring the look I was giving her to stop her from paying.

  “Why did you do that? I was going to pay. It was my 'sorry for yelling at you on your first day at Ottawa gift.”

  “Don’t worry, I am sure you acted like that because you had an awful day. I wasn’t my best self that day, so consider it my ‘sorry for accusing you of horrible things without knowing you gift’” she said as she took little pieces of napkin off her sandwich.

  “It was an awful day. You are forgiven, don’t worry.” I was with an incredible woman, besides the terrible first impression she gave that day, everything about her was perfect. Could we ever get our shot?

  The children kept playing until dawn and everything went better than we could have ever imagined. We took the cards people had created in the stand and the money from all of our donors and went to the hospital to prepare the surprise.

  “What may I do for you, gentlemen?” asked the blonde accountant from the hospital where Justin was getting his treatment. Shawn thought it would be better to pay the hospital directly to make it a real surprise.

  “We want to pay the hospital bill of Justin Hoffman, he is in paediatrics oncology. This is the amount we want to offer,” said Shawn as he placed an envelope with hundreds of bills in the desk.

  “This covers more than what Mr. Hoffman owes to the hospital. Would you like to leave it as a payment fund for future treatments?”

  “Yes, please.” We said without even considering another option. We left the ‘get well soon’ letters with one of the nurses of Justin and left feeling as good Christians.

  Talking to the moon

  I called Brandon to talk about everything that happened today. I had been trying for hours now to reach him, but he hadn't pick up until now. "Hey babe! What are you up to?" he cleared his voice before answering and took a deep breath.

  "Everything is just fine. I've been quite busy lately and I wanted to have a real conversation with you so I thought I could just call when my parents went to the movies. Today is date night."

  "Oh! That is so sweet! I adore the way they still date each other. When my contract ends you must take me to the movies! We haven't done that in a long time." I missed Brandon so much, I really think that this internship has helped me value way more our relationship.

  "We haven't done a lot of things in a long of time. Can I ask you something...what are you expecting with this Canada experience?" it is something understandable to have doubts in a long distance relationship, after all we had never been apart for more than a weekend, I just wasn't expecting Brandon to feel unsure about us so fast.

  "Well I've always liked Canada, it is where maple syrup was created, it is perfect. I can even picture us living here. There are so many job opportunities, you should really give it a shot."

  "You can picture yourself living there, I think you maybe were meant to be there, you know. This is your big shot. I think you should stay over there, there are no reasons for you to come back."

  "What are you talking about Brandon? Are you really going to join me here in Canada?" I instantly pictured us taking trips to discover Canada together, it was going to be really fun.

  "No Beck, I am not. I've realized that ours is a hopeless love. It breaks my heart to tell you to move on. It really does, but someone had to take the first step. You are going to thank me for this someday. You are meant to fly, and I will only anchor you. I want us to break up."

  "Jeez. You are my wings, not my anchor. You are the one who helped me dream and to accomplish so many things. This is not funny. Tell me why you want us to break up. I'm yours. Every heartbeat," tears started flowing and I could feel a big needle piercing through my heart. "Distance can be temporary, I just wanted to get out of town and discover a big city and prove to myself I could do things and go places, but I can go back. I have no problem with that. I'll be there soon. Keep holding on."

  "I don't think you are even understanding Beck. I was going to be your future, and I was okay with that, but you weren't. You were always talking about being bigger and better and you are too ambitious for me. The truth is that if you stay with me you are going to rot. I won't ever be good enough for you. You want success, and a career and not a family, I feel I am a fool and I am just talking to the moon all alone, just like that song you like so much. I don't want to fight for this relationship anymore. We weren't great, we were just okay, and I think it would be better to go back to being friends."

  "You know I want more than that Brandon. We can't go back to what we were, we can only go forward, grow as a couple. We can be a family. I want a family," I can't believe this is really happening, are we breaking up? We are meant to be. He knows me better than I know myself, I don't think I could do life without him.

  "Gorgeous, don't even use that. We've talked about it, remember? You don't want to get married because you are afraid to repeat your parents mistakes, and I understood you felt like that after how things got at your place but time has gone by and you haven't healed and I don't think you ever will."

  "Take my heart, heal it Brandon! We can work this out. I can make a commitment, let's just set a date. I promise it is just a matter of time. Don't leave me," the line went silent and I knew he could hear me sobbing on the other side, I felt destroyed.

  "You left first. You were my first love, and I admire you so much, you are always going to be an important part of who I am, but I think but we both deserve better."

  "Tell me how should I change! I will do it. I'll become better and I'll be home in a few months. I love you, what do I have to say to make you understand?"

  "I know you do, but there is nothing left to say, pretty words are not what I am looking for. I feel as if we were reading different books, it doesn't matter if we are now on the same page because we're looking for different happily-ever-afters. We are not what we were, and it is not because you left. I think our time expired a while ago. Sooner or later this was going to end."

  "Is this because I didn't want to get married? Maybe I am ready now, we can give it a shot. What do you say? Please, say yes Brandon."

  "Becky, Beck...don't do this. You don't want to get married. I proposed three times, and that doesn't matter, I would do it a fourth time if it was worth the shot. This is over. Please don't make it harder."

  My phone screen was so wet with my tears that I couldn't even end the call. But the thing is that Brandon somehow knew that because he ended the call before I could do it. Without saying goodbye. Without saying 'I love you, nighty night gorgeous'.

  ∞∞∞

  I am going to tell you what you must do, but you must listen. You can't just come with your face dripping wet from tears of sadness and asking for advice just to do something else—Shawn kept looking for Kleenex all through his place.

  “I promise I'll listen. But please stop looking for the Kleenex, I am just going to use your curtain to wipe my tears.”

  “Funny, funny! I understand that you are going through a rough patch, but you will get out of this, I promise.”

  “I just hate him so much. I don't understand why he did that. Everything was out of the blue, I thought we were okay. We talked as we always did and,” a knot in my throat made my voice scratchy and as fragile as ice “I am just not ready to leave him.”

  “Okay dear, first you don't hate him. You love him. Get it all out, just say everything that is hurting you right now.”

  “He told me that he wanted a family, and I also do but I just didn't feel ready to take the next step with him, you know, getting married and all of that. I am afraid of ending like my parents, yelling to someone who I used to love about who gets
the car and who gets the dog and the kids...What if I never heal like he said?” I cried and my heart ached and I just wished the moon took away the memories of everything we were and all the dreams of everything I wanted us to be.

  “You know what, love is a flexible thing just like Play-Doh. You may think that you have a ...what do you do with Play-Doh?”

  “I don't know...a dinosaur?” Shawn is literally the only human on Earth who would talk about Play-Doh with someone who has just lost her soulmate.

  “Very artistic, my friend. Okay, you may think you have a dinosaur, but then one day you'll see a caterpillar and you will realise not only that you prefer caterpillars to dinosaur but also that the same Play-Doh that you had before can be transformed into something else. That is love. And maybe you thought you loved dinosaurs because that is all you knew to do with.”

  “He is my soulmate, there is no better after him,” I hugged myself while in my mind a carousel of memories from the first day of high-school to prom to our last day together in the airport played as an slideshow in this moment of grief.

  “He was your soulmate in that moment, but after this you will be another person, this very moment you are starting to change; and for the new version of Rebecca there is another soulmate, you just have to be brave enough to look for it. Maybe it is as he said, your love was good while it lasted but now it has expired.”

  “The thing there Shawn, is that I don't believe love expires. It is not milk that spoils and that's it. It is more like wine; with time it gets better.”

  “Oh no! That is a HUGE mistake. Most wines are not even meant to be aged. Cheap wines at least are better if consumed early. Maybe that is what happened. He is not the wine you should be waiting to drink; he won't change. And when the right one comes along, I bet you won't hesitate on marrying him or building a family if those are things that you want. Just have faith. The Lord knows the whole story, you are just reading a chapter. And while you faithfully wait, you should really read a little about wines.”

  “I will! How do you know so much about everything?”

  “Taxi drivers (and ubers) hold the weight of all the knowledge of the world,” he said while he dramatically stood up as Atlas holding an imaginary world over his shoulders.

  “Seriously!” I said realizing I was not even crying anymore.

  “I'm serious! Just think about all the interesting stories of random people we get to know about! From taking stains out of carpets (a mother of 4 children gave me the fail-proof recipe) to economics and medicine...we get to hear everything. I could probably get my science degree if I wanted.”

  “If I had only knew that, I wouldn't have gone to college. Did you ever wanted to be something else?”

  “Well, of course. I wanted to teach literature, I did it for a couple of years back at Ireland, but I'd rather be driving around hearing all these wonderful stories than counting pennies and searching for time to write my novel. At least now I have tons of ideas for stories and I have more than enough time to write what I want. I am just some rides away from the next great American novel.”

  “You meant next great 'Canadian' novel.”

  “You know what I am talking about, smarty pants. Now that you are happier, why don't we get some dinner, I can make some phone calls and we could go to have pizza with friends. You shouldn't be alone now.”

  “Pizza is always a good idea. But I want it with mushrooms and bacon”

  “Consider it done. I will call the choir squat.”

  ∞∞∞

  “And that is the reason why poutine is considered a national treasure,” said Sam who apparently besides being in charge of the Junior group was also the main guitar of the choir.

  “I know! At first you can't even believe someone decided to pour gravy into French fries but then I remember that mashed potatoes are served with gravy and it is understandable...it is like a superior version of cheesy-mashed potatoes,” agreed Marilyn who had her hair in a messy bun and was keeping an eye on her kids from afar. She was enjoying her pizza slice like if she had never tasted something similar before. She rarely gets the chance to have dinner with friends because she hates the idea of babysitters, but tonight she came with her boys and they are happily playing in all the machines of the restaurant. I couldn’t help but notice the way that Shawn face lit up when she saw her. Maybe, and just maybe there was something there.

  “You know what, I already have plans with you for tomorrow. Tomorrow we are going to the spa, I have some coupons I never used but I think the moment has come. The kids are going to be in a birthday party of one of their friends and we are going to be in our relax day. What do you say? It will be just like your first weekend here.”

  “Marilyn, you are the best, I'm in! Thank you, guys, for everything, I really needed this,” looking around I understood I had found myself a family in the little time I had been in Ottawa. Shawn, Marilyn, Samuel, they managed to return the happiness of the day after the horrible phone call with Brandon.

  I love this people and I am going to prove them I am worthy of their friendship from now on. I can see the Lord acting through them, he is in the cheesecakes Marilyn bakes, in the hundred jokes Samuel can tell to make a little boy smile again and, in the way, Shawn makes newcomers feel at home after minutes of arriving to the city. When I came to the city, I had nothing but dreams and hopes, now I have a support system and I know that I'll be just fine. Maybe not tonight and certainly not in a week, but little by little I will start healing, turns out that I didn't need Brandon for healing, I needed Jesus.

  Fallen walls

  “Can you tell us about how it is to have a boyfriend Miss Becky?” asked Georgia with a smile from side to side that told me there was a little boy who had captured his heart. One month had gone by since the first time I came to talk about religion with this adorable kids and they certainly had captured a part of my heart.

  “Well, having a boyfriend is something that you have to talk about with your mother, that is the one most important thing. My mother has this rule at home that says ‘if you cannot tell me about what you are doing, is because you know that what you are doing is wrong’, so always remember to keep your mom informed about everything! Do you promise that guys?”

  “Yes, we promise,” said the kids all at different tempo filling the place with their usual happiness and noise.

  “Well I had my first boyfriend a long, long time ago. We started going together when we were thirteen and let me tell you all, he was the nicest boy ever. First of all he had all of these little freckles in his cheeks that reminded me of the stars and he was the worse dancer ever but he danced with me every time that I wanted. This is really important to remember guys, your boyfriend or girlfriend should always treat you right. They must never make you feel wrong about being yourself and they should make you want to be better. You want your boyfriend or girlfriend to be your best friend and they must be kind. I really had a lot of fun with my boyfriend and a part of me will always miss him.” I said remembering Brandon with a warm feeling inside me. Even if we broke up at the end, I will always treasure all the memories we built together, the laughter, the experiences; those are things that cannot be erased.

  “Miss Becky, are you going to marry him?!” another one of the kids curiously asked as the funny guys of the class made a small parody of a wedding proposal.

  “Well it turns out that God has a different plan for us, and we are just going to be friends. Maybe one day, another man is going to appear on my life and God will help me find out if he is the one I am suppose to be with.”

  “You can marry teacher Sam, he isn’t a husband and he treats good all people and he is kind always,” said the littlest girl of the group taking pauses between words and clapping of joy with her idea.

  “That is a very good idea Lilly, but maybe we should talk about it next week. Remember to do your homework which is volunteering at home to do the chores and telling everyone in your house that you love them, now I ask you DO YOU L
OVE JESUS?” he screamed from the bottom of his lungs before the children answered in the same way.

  “YES, WE DO AND HE LOVES US MORE!” The children started hugging each other and hugging Samuel and even hugging me when they hardly knew me. They asked me to come back the next week, something they had done also the first four weeks I came and I still struggled with memorizing their names, that was going to be my homework of the week. Each one of them folded the chair they used and the bigger ones helped the smallest ones with their chairs.

  When they left, I still felt all of the energy they had given me during the class. This is why teachers don’t age as quick as other people do. The energy they get from their students is mesmerizing.

  “I am sorry about the Q&A session, I know all the Brandon thing is still fresh and you may think it was rude for them to ask, but they really didn’t know about anything. They are really sweet children, they were just trying to get to know you a little better,” said Brandon while he swept the floor and I erased the whiteboard.